What Is Beauty?

I was at Walmart this morning getting my oil changed. While I was waiting, I was flipping through a couple of "US" magazines, just out of curiosity. It made me really sad looking closely at celebrities lives, beyond the glamour and glitz. Because beyond that, you see a lot of instability, short lived relationships, and a lot of broken lives. It really made me sad. And I thought, 'So many people look up to this kind of life.' And then I thought, 'Why?' I asked the Lord if He would help me write a poem out of what I was feeling. And this is what I wrote:


Flipping through the pages, was just aching my soul,
because the majority of the people,
are making outer beauty their goal.
If you dig a little deeper, and take a look at their lives,
there's a growing epidemic,
that's destroying their lives.
Glamour is their idol, and it's destroying their soul,
somehow they think,
it's going to make them feel whole.
Beauty's not in glamour, and it's definitely not in fame,
the only thing that's attractive,
is what brings glory to God's name.
I'm closing this magazine, and sticking tightly to my source,
of relying on God's word,
which keeps my family on course.

Proverbs 31:10-31 (The wife of noble character)

The Sword Fight

The Lord has communicated a promise to me. I'm holding on to this promise by faith. Feelings and circumstance haven't matched up to this faith, for most of this journey . This is an analogy the Lord gave me almost 2 years ago, when I was battling to believe feelings and circumstance, instead of faith in what the Lord had told me.


I have a sword and armor on.
The sword I'm fighting with is, fact and faith.
My opponent's sword he's fighting with, is feelings and circumstance.
Feelings and circumstance keeps fighting me.
I'm battling to surrender to him, but I refuse!
I start fighting harder and swinging my sword
very aggressively .
The sword of the Spirit is the word of God, I thought. (Ephesians 6:17)
So to win this sword fight, I have to think:
'What are the facts?'
The facts are, what God has TOLD me.
What I know to be true to what God has spoken to me.
And God does not lie. (Hebrews 6:13-20)
The fact is, I need to trust God's voice,
and not surrender to feelings and circumstance! (Hebrews 11:1-3)
So after an intense fight,
I finished feelings and circumstance off with my sword.
I had quite the sword fight this morning,
Thank you God that fact and faith won!!!


Romans 4:18-21

Who against hope believed in hope, that he (Abraham) might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be.

{19} And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sarah's womb:

{20} He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strong in faith, giving glory to God;

{21} And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform.

Wounded Ones

This poem is about the past, of tug- of -wars that went on inside me. The Lord was pulling for me, but I had to choose which side I was going to be on. I've known wounded ones, with no where to go,
I must help them out, through their unfortunate woes.
They make you feel gorgeous with the right things they say,
they enter your heart, and they consume you all day.
Their empathy is strong, it makes you weak,
they got you good, and there's no one else you seek.
It feels so good, could this be true?
God says no, he's not for you.
He's got a hold on you, you gotta let go,
But what will he do Lord, where will he go?
I'll take care of him, he'll be okay, hold my hand, lets walk the other way.
My feelings say yes, but God says no,
I must decide, which way to go.
The battle is strong, it's at it's high,
it hurts so bad, that I start to cry.
I have to choose, I've been through this before,
last time I chose feelings, but not anymore.
I know from the past, when feelings got her way,
it caused so much destruction, with not just me to pay.
So I reject my feelings, I know this is right,
I walk by faith now, and not by sight.
I trust you Lord, I'll hold your hand,
so You can guide me into, my promised land.

When I look back, I'm SO thankful for all God's "No's". Because now I know, that all along, He had something better planned for me!


Jeremiah 29:11
For now I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Remaining Loyal

I saw this movie, "The Tenant of Wildfell Hall" by Anne Bronte ( BBC ) and I really respected the lead character in the movie, so I wrote a poem about her.



I want to be like her, that suffers for right,
that's loyal till the end, no matter how hard the fight.
She made a commitment, that she refuses to break,
even when things, are so hard to take.
In her weakness, she continues to be strong,
because she's fighting for right, and not giving in to wrong.
She remains loyal, even if no one's on her side,
her heart's content, with the Lord as her guide.
People say quit, this is not what you deserve,
she says," No I will not, because it is the Lord that I serve.
I'm not quitting, I refuse to recoil,
no matter what happens, I'm remaining loyal.
I made a commitment, that I am not going to break,
I know the Lord will help me, to do what it takes."
To stick it out, through thick and thin,
is her idea, of what it means to win.
And to live her life, distributing grace,
is how she wants, to end this race.
I want my life Lord, like hers, being subservient,
and to hear You say Lord, "Well done , good and faithful servant." (Matthew 25:23)

This movie is also a picture to me of how God is so patient towards us. He continues to pour out His grace and invitation to us to turn from our ways and follow Him. But that we have free will. The Lord gives us all plenty of chances before we die. But we always are left with the final decision. This woman to me was a picture of Gods grace towards us, of never giving up on us till the day we die. Which reminds me of this scripture:

2 Peter 3:9-11

[9] The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is long-suffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. [10] But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up. [11] Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought you to be in all holy conversation and godliness, looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat?

God does not want anyone to eternally perish, but desires all to come to repentance. He wants us to be with Him eternally, and the way to get forgiveness is through Jesus Christ alone.

John 14:6
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

A Beautiful Creation

I read my daughters blog entry one day, and this is what a portion of it says:

" I question why no boy will have me and replay all the times that men and women have answered with 'lose weight'. Why should that change anything? Has the world forgotten that not everyone is beautiful? Should we tell the deformed to get plastic surgery, and then they'll have a better chance of finding love? What a wretched way of thinking! I begin to cry and ask God what is wrong with me? I feel like I'm walking so aimlessly......

After I read this, I was so grieved! I then asked the Lord if He would help me to write a poem for my daughter. And this is what He gave me:


Your right, everything God has made, is beautiful indeed,
people can rip out our worth, and discard it like a weed.
I think God holds His creations, very close to His heart,
and I believe He grieves, when people pick apart His art.
God constructed a masterpiece, your a wonderful creation,
that deserves to be marveled at, without having to give an explanation.
Let's look at His work , and see all that we can find,
of how He detailed you, and made you one of a kind.
Let's set aside, of what people think you should be,
and cut that cord, so you can breath on your own and be free.
and rip out that I.V., of the words they're feeding in your veins,
and cut off those shackles, and walk over and take back your reins.
Let's showcase Gods creation, proudly and without any shame,
and let's marvel at each other, knowing He created no one the same.
Everybody has beauty, it all depends how you view,
but it's Gods word you go to, to get a true evaluation of you!

Psalm 139:13-15
[13] For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. [14] I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. [15] My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

1 Peter 3:3-4
[3] Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; [4] But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

1 Corinthians 12:4-6
[4] Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. [5] And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord. [6] And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all.

Matthew 23:27-29
(Jesus talking) [27] Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness. [28] Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity. [29] Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! Because ye build the tombs of the prophets, and garnish the sepulchres of the righteous,

Isaiah 53-2-6
( This is speaking about Jesus)
For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness: and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. [3] He is despised and rejected of men, a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. [4] Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. [5] But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. [6] All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.


Look what Jesus did for us. His appearance wasn't even beautiful, but he did the most beautiful thing for us, which makes him the most beautiful one of all!

Help Me Lord

On this earth I want to finish well. This poem is about this desire.


Lord I'm thankful for your lessons, even though it's hard,
I know your making sure, that it's self I discard.
Your always showing me, how to die to self,
and to not hold on to here, but to seek eternal wealth.(Matthew 6-19-21)
Everything I see, will come and go,
it's how I lived my life, is what I know I'll have to show.
How I spend my life, everyday, is the story I'll have to bring,
on judgment day. (2 Corinthians 5:6-10)
Will you be disappointed, or will you be proud,
will you be ashamed of me, when you come down on the cloud. (Luke 9:26)
I know by faith in you, and by turning from my sins,
that when I die, eternal life with you begins. (Ephesians 2:8-9)
But on this earth, before I leave,
I want to try really hard, not to make you grieve.
Nothing in my life, I want allowed,
that would cause you displeasure, that would make you not proud.
I know I'm sealed, for the day of redemption, (Ephesians 4:30-32)
but please lead me not, into temptation. (Matthew 26:41)
Will you help my faith, and have my worries eased, (Mark 9:23-24,Matthew 6:25, 1 Peter 5:7)
because if I shrink back, I know you won't be pleased. (Hebrews 10:38)
Whatever was my profit, I now consider loss, (Philippians 3:7-8)
all I want is you, and to take up my cross. (Luke 9:23-25)
I need your help, from now until my death,
will you help me finish well, till I take my last breath. (Jude 1:24-25)

2 Corinthians 5:6-10
[6] Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord: [7] (For we walk by faith, not by sight:) [8] We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord. [9] Wherefore we labour, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of him. [10] For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.

Wisdom Makes Me Strong

I wrote this during a battle that totally caught me off guard. I thought I was over this type of temptation. I thought wrong.

When something yells at me, to come off my path,
I think back, and then do the math.
There's so many times that I fell,
because I thought I chose heaven, but really it was hell.
Now when wisdom, calls out in the street,
she's the one, that I want to meet. (proverbs 1:20-23, Psalm 119:105)
My tempters words I admit do tickle,
but I have to remember, people are fickle.
God can be trusted, He stays the same, (Hebrews 13:8, Numbers 23:19-20)
His love is real, His love is not a game.
Will I believe the deception, that whispers in my ears? (2Timothy 4:3)
Or remember the pain, of so many years.
Do I really want another fate,
from the same apple that I ate? (Proverbs 26:11)
When I hated logic and loved to feel,
I found out, it wasn't a good deal.
Feelings are deceptive, logic is a fact,
so logic and I made a pact.
I know you are true, my consequences prove it,
when feelings come up, let's help each other remove it.
Feelings is an indicator, not a resolution,
I'm feeling something again logic, what's the solution?
Set aside what your feeling, check Gods word,
pick up your armor and put on your gird. (James 4:7-8, Ephesians 6:10-17)
Feelings are weak, wisdom makes you strong,
apply Gods word, and you'll never go wrong. (Proverbs 30:5, Hebrews 4:12)

1 Peter 5:8-10
[8] Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: [9] Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. [10] But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect (complete) , stablish, strengthen, settle you.
To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

My Regret

I deeply regret the family dynamics I created for my daughters. This is a poem about my regret.

When I look back to see, what I regret,
it's the void I gave my children, that one need that wasn't met.
That hurting in my soul, never ceases to ache,
because a mom's supposed to give, she's not supposed to take.
I thought I was having fun, and just filling a need,
but now it's so clear, it was nothing but greed.
And now after the fact, when I saw the consequences unfold,
I see what I've done, and grief I still hold.
I pray all the time, for my girls to be,
walking with the Lord, and smarter than me.
If I would have known, it would unfold like this,
I would have done thing's right, so a father they wouldn't miss.
But now I pray, with all of my heart,
they would have a complete family, not one that's torn apart.
I know I'm forgiven, my sins are taken away,
but there are consequences, that I still see to this day.
Please Lord, it wasn't their fault, I pray You would bring,
this dynamic to a halt.
Will You please let their families, reside with a mom and dad,
a dynamic I deprived them of, a dynamic they've never had.
And I pray they would love You, with all of their hearts,
and that You would bind their homes,
so it will never fall apart.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8
[1] Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. [2] And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. [3] And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. [4] Charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, [5] Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; [6] Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; [7] Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth....

My prayer is that I will love better for the second half of my life!

I'm Not Strong

This poem is about perception. People have commented to me that I'm so strong. I shake my head in disagreement and say, "I'm not strong at all. I'm actually a very weak person that depends on the Lord." I'm not strong, I'm not bold, I'm a very weak person that depends on the Lord. I appear to be strong, that's a deception of me, hey come over here, I've got something for you to see. Do you see that person? That's me from the past, that's me at the end, that's shattered like glass. I had nothing to give, and was at the end of my rope, then Jesus said to me, "Let me give you some hope. Come to Me and repent of your ways, I'll be your God, for all of your days." My life didn't work, that was so clear to see, so I said to the Lord," I want to give You all of me." In my weakness, He made me  strong, because I turned to Him and repented from wrong. I think of my decisions from the past, to help me fight when temptations are cast. So that's why it appears, that I am so strong, when all I do is think of, consequences from wrongs. Then I take my weakness and trust what I'm told, then He gives me power, that makes me strong and bold. So remember it's the Lord who I seek, and who I go to when I'm weak. I'm not strong, I'm not bold, I'm a very weak person who depends on the Lord. 2 Corinthians 12:9 And he (Jesus) said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Ephesians 6:10 Finally , my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

The Battle Of The Mind

There is no greater battle, than the battle of the mind,
it's the process that makes decisions, no stronger battle you will find.
When something comes up to challenge it, to try to kick it off it's post,
those are the battles I fight for, those battles I fight for most.
Everyone has this masterpiece, God's creation called the brain,
which is meant to function properly, not to drive a person insane.
How do we use it properly, what's it's original intent?
Well, let's look at the instructions, to see how it was meant.
Love the Lord your God, with all your heart, soul and mind, (Mark 12:30)this is the most important, in the instructions I could find.
Set your mind on the things above, (Colossians 3:2)this gives me perspective and helps me what to love.
Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, (Romans 12:3)this gives me humility, where choosing pride would make me sink. (Proverbs 16:18)Bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, (2 Corinthians 10:5)this thwarts Satans plan, of having me diced.
Wow, there's so much more instruction, all I have to do is read,
my brain is meant to be used, on God's word it's meant to feed.
You could read somewhere else, God gave us freedom to roam,
but you will find it's God's word, that the brain will call it's home.
But there's something I'm so thankful for, something that's so kind,
the Lord took my depravity, the depravity of my mind (Romans 1:28)Through repentance and belief in Him, He has made me sane,
and now I have the mind of Christ, (1 Corinthians 2:16)which there is no greater gain.
Thank you so much Jesus, for giving me peace of mind,
there's no greater love I've found but you,
and I'm convinced I'll never find.


Romans 7:23-8:11[23] But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
[24] O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
[25] I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.
[8:1] There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.[2] For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.
[3] For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh.
[4] That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.
[5] For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit[6] For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritual minded is life and peace.
[7 ]Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.
[8] So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.
[9] But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.
[10] And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.
[11] But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.

Don't Buy Pride

Pride is something that I never want! I pray all the time, that the Lord will do whatever it takes to make and keep me humble.

The last thing I want, is that monster called pride,
it's humility I desire, and who's welcome inside.
So when the doorbell rings, and pride's selling at my door,
I say, "No thanks mister, I've tried that product before."
When I put it on, it brings on shame,
it causes destruction, and it defames Gods name.
I'm ugly when it's on, and it smells of stench,
he says,"Your putting on too much, you only need a pinch."
I don't believe your deception, and there's something that I know,
that a little yeast, works through a whole batch of dough. (1 Corinthians 5:6)
I'd rather get humility, which gives God the glory,
than to put on pride, and to be like Satans story.
Satan bought pride, and then he fell, (Luke 10:18)
now he's missing out on heaven, and he's going to hell.
I don't want to be foolish, pride does nothing for me good,
I want things that bring honor, to my Lord as they should.
Your product is a deception, and I'm telling every friend,
that the pride that your selling, brings no honorable end.
I'm holding on to truth, and heeding Gods instruction,
that humility brings honor, and with pride comes destruction. (Proverbs 18:12)
So I'm asking you Lord, lest I be exalted above measure,
will you give me a thorn, that would give me some pressure.
It's humility I desire, and your exaltation that I seek,
and I know that your power, is made perfect when I'm weak.
I take pleasure in infirmities, for you never use it wrong,
for when I'm weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
It's you that I want, to be seen in my story,
and for you to be given, all of the glory. (Colossians 3:16-17 , John 17:20-26)

The Answer

This Poem I wrote is a picture of how God led me to surrender my life to Him. 

He kept putting people in my life and pursuing me for years. But I kept rejecting Him, wanting to live life my own way. 

Finally after many years 
I came at the end of myself and surrendered my life to Him. 

I'm so thankful I did!

I'm still thankful for His constant pursuit of me. Not for my salvation anymore,  but to help me in life and to help keep me on the right track. 

I'm so glad He does and never gives up on me!


THE ANSWER

I was all alone bleeding in the street. Then came some good Samaritans,
that God ordained for me to meet.

I let them bind my wounds, and listened what they had to say.

They said," We'll help you off the streets, and show you where gratitude is to be paid."

His name is Jesus, He's the master of our soul.
He came to us like you, when our life was taking a toll.

He cleaned up our wounds, and He said, "Trust me and let me in.
I will forgive you of your trespasses, but you must turn away from your sins".

We believed what He said, and from our sins we turned away.
And now we can go to heaven, and have no sins that we have to pay.

He said, "There's no good you can do, that can take away sin's dross.
The only way into My kingdom, is through what I did on the cross."

We were so thankful for what He did, we knew there was nothing we could do.
So we said, "We understand and accept salvation, that can only be met through You."

So we're passing on this news, that we felt certain you needed to know.
Please turn to our Savior, there's no greater love you'll know."

So I said, " Thank you for your words, and thanks for being so kind.
But I think I'll try a different path". So I left them and their wisdom behind.

I tried my own way again, and brought on some more pain.
Pain that caused destruction, not pain that causes gain.

I had fought so many rounds, I didn't  think I could take one more blow.
Just how far in the gutter I thought, did I really need to go?

Then I thought about what they said, and how their words had stirred my soul.
I realized what was holding me back. It was sins pleasures that I couldn't let go.

But now I see the fruits, of the sins that I let in.
The enjoyment just lasts a season I thought, it's a game I cannot win.

I am so convinced of that truth, that those people told me that day.
I now believe what you claim Jesus, that you are the life, the truth and the way. (John 14:6)

I'm so thankful for you Jesus, for patiently guiding my way.
And for Your kindness that led me to repentance, (Romans 2:4) and for those people you gave me that day.

John 3:16-21

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”